I suppose most people call it coming of age. Though, I always associated that phrase with tacky teen movies and going to college. Maybe this is just the second…hell, even third round of this ‘age’ thing. It’s never ending.
It’s in your hands this time. The age. Wrinkles forming around your knuckles from years of climbing, crashing, tumbling and jumping up again. Calices, bruises, scars and freckled skin telling your individual story. Each hand unique to the next; the people you’ve touched, the money you’ve handled- been given, and yet so easily slipped through your fingers- the loving hands you’ve held, the swing sets you’ve grasped… Each moment has rightfully laid the tiniest imprint… right there, between your fingers and in the crevices of your palms. You’re eyes are bright in the mirror still, but this time latching onto just a little more wisdom and an ounce more of experience, making them deep, endless tunnels.
You’re heart is just a little more protected.
You’re body takes just a little more recovery time.
You’re mind is full – this time not of the unreachable dreams but the reachable, reasonable ones.
You feel powerful. Free. Knowledgeable.
You feel… like a woman. Yes I said it. I’m going Carol King on you… you make me feel like a natural woman.
BUT I’M SERIOUS!
The transition is real. It’s almost as if there is an invisible wall you unknowingly cross. It’s a feeling that you know deep inside WHO YOU ARE and that person is exactly who you want to be. It’s that path you find yourself on and you laugh wondering why you didn’t find this path earlier in life. It’s the feeling of reaching in your pocket of experiences and journeys and stories and saying “damn, that was fun.” There may even be an “oops” or two in there…but that’s apart of it. It’s the feeling of being that almost-exact replica of your future-self at 11 years old- except, you’re totally not a super model/rockstar/astronaut.
It’s something new, and yet totally comfortable. It’s something scary and yet completely satisfying. And with all this, I didn’t see it coming one bit.
I haven’t written for a very long time. It’s hard to find inspiration to write when life hits you in the face with something traumatic- whether it be an accident, a death or a dark scary path of self destruction. Today, I find myself in one of those contemplative places. Yeah, you know the one. The one with candles lit, your Dark and Twisty playlist on repeat and a ball in your throat- tears waiting patiently to slide down your cheeks. Yep, that contemplative place.
And as I sit quietly and reflect, I realize that I’m right in the middle of this crazy transition. Right in the middle of the bridge between early 20s and late 20s and the middle part is really strange. The physical realizations come to life as your mind continues to crave the wild, reckless nights and week long binges of loud music and bad dancing. It’s not about what used to be and what is to come though. It’s always been about the journey, hasn’t it? The most valuable lessons learned, the most eternal experiences had… these were during transitions. So while we jump back and forth between one chapter and the next chapter of life deciding when is the best time to fully commit to this new part of your life… take in the biggest challenges for what they are and run with them… just do it… there is nothing better than looking back and saying “yeah, that wasn’t so bad.”
So this one is for you out there. Whoever is in a transitional point in their life. Whether it be this bridge of the 20s, newly weds, newly divorced, over the hill, en-recovery, or just in a weird place… you got this. Embrace it all. The transitions of our lives should be the most cherished. So run with all your might through that next doorway and see what comes next!
Cheers to you.